Bethink, again.

I remember that there was a time, when I was 4 years old. I really like 2 person in kindergarden, a boy and a girl. We hang out all the time in school. One day, I just got hold of 2 boxes, a shoebox and another pentagon-shaped box. I filled them with all sorts of precious things I like...erasers, tiny toys, notebooks, paper stars, random things I had, and gave the gifts to my friends. Tonight I can still remember how it feels. The grown ups didn't quite like what I did then. But now that I'm seventeen, I suddenly wish that I could do it all over again.

I had a dream yesterday night that I can fly.

I jolt out of bed today thinking that there was an invasion because 3 jet planes were whizzing pass overhead.

And then at 12:05, there was the siren outside that went off. And then I REALLY thought that there was an invasion.

In all I probably used up 6 packets of tissue by now. Out of these 6 packets, 2 were used in the living room, 1 in the kitchen while cleaning up and 3 packets worth of used tissue hilled beside my bed. And out of these, I realised that I opened a packet of tissue by the back seam instead of the front.

Cooked a hot soup out of cabbage and tofu.

I ate a whole packet of strawberry marshmallows, in different ways. I popped some into my mouth... had 3 on a toast with cinnamon powder...tried barbequeing 4 on 2 forks...which was really a bad idea because I almost had to have roasted ladyfingers as well. And then after that I tried to BBQ 2 on a plate.

Did the dishes and the oven.

Had a little french lesson. J'adore apprendre le francais. Not quite. Not now.

I don't know how I can associate having flu with feeling unloved. I hate flu days. And oh oh, yesterday was the day I celebrated my 17th Valentine's Day of singlehood. I hate Valentine's Day. Why...? Because yesterday I had a pathetically ridiculous endeavor of baking a cake, burning a cake, and then stupidly smashing a cake on the floor. (Would love to upload pictures here, but I can't find my usb cable.) But still, I ended up with an aixin cake for an aixin friend. =) And that brings about on why I had to clean the kitchen.

The complusion to hug. And the lack of courage to do so. I really wanted to bring my god sister home today. =( Ok, I had a pretty merry new year.

"Cool head, warm heart." That's a phrase I caught from an educater speech today while watching Channel News Asia. It basically comprehends that there is no need for a high level of intelligence or eloquence, more important is to have a critically alive mind and compassion towards people. Expecially in our treadmill society, people are obsessed with achievements and proving one's capabilities. We slog, strive and fight. But all the rhetoric efforts come to naught. Because we forget about what is fundamental, the basis for humanity- treating others with kindness, respect and equality.

This thesis had an impression on me.

As a start, I'm going to be a better host this lunar new year. For a long time, I have been obnoxiously against the idea of having relatives at my house for the reunion dinner tomorrow. What better way to kickstart the festive season then with a gathering of gossip mongers in my territory, right inside my house, the perfect place to poke into my privacy and snort in my face. There is more to balk at, situations like this not within my control. However, I'm going to behave. =)

Second resolution, I'm going to lose weight. I've gained so much weight over the week. Serene is gloating over the fact that I'm now only one kilogram lighter than her. (Thanks pal.) My food intake is spiralling out of control discipline. SOS. SOS. SOS. SOS.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

I changed my mind. I think all I want in that special place for me is love. 

Perspective of Alice through the looking glass...

I kicked her arse.
Dissapointment that could make you weak in the knees. The ambiguous nature of humans. Bad is not entirely bad. And good, sadly, is made out of lies, deceit, pretence and a fake smile. I was minding my own bloody business and she just had to come along and afflict some pain on me. So came the mutation of meaner and badder. I tried ignoring her. Now I just wanted to haunt her. Make sure she dies. Or at least vent my frustrations somewhere.

Mom told me to forgive her, for her sake, since I'll soon be gone. I think that's where the difference lies. You can be a phony however you want. But I got Mom and Dad's support. And the reasons are obvious, isn't it? Because they've got eyes.

Crazy. Happy. Cool. Flamboyant. Nonchalant.

I'm a disgrace. Being a self-acclaimed hippie teen(haha x10), I'm actually wasting my life away by worrying that I'm not good enough...Isn't that such a wimpy thing to do?

Ok, down with the lighthearted telltale tone, I'm actually scared...of all the things not within my means to control. But i'll try again.

I'm pretty idle now and my brother was cooing over how cute he look in this picture. He BEGGED ME to post it on my blog, so here...



And I thought I might as well put up a picture of the other man in the house...



Erm, how do I explain the hippie hairstyle...
It was Mom and Dad's 22nd Anniversary. So they decided it should be special and romantic...They got me, their favorite child, for home hairdye service. >< It had to be sportingly in the same colour, of course. Aww...Actually, it was more like they were trying to save some cash by using from the same bottle. I thought what I did was so cool, I just had to take a picture. haha. Mom curtly refused a photo, she said, "So awful."

3 more months. No secluded feelings of packing up. Dissapointment is erm well, par for the course. But what I'm really really scared of is Boredom. So here's to the current boliao "Latest List". I made out of it..

LATEST Favorite happy scene:
Marie Antoinette
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LATEST Favorite indie band:
Au Revoir Simone (They make lyricals sound like instruments. I don't  know how to describe it.)

LATEST Favorite anime:
D. Gray Man and Bleach

LATEST Favorite anime character:
Mitsukuni Haninozuka from Ouran High School Host Club, SO CUTTTEEEE! xD


LATEST AND FOREVER Favorite person:
My bro, Andy, for boliao-ing with me and letting me hog his labbie for the time being. I think I'm so addicted I've evolved into a cyborg.

LATEST Favorite colour:
Blue.

LATEST Most Craved for Food:
Spicy WanWan rice crackers, the ones with "snow" on top.

LATEST Favorite place:
Still the airport.

LATEST aspiration:
To be a commercial female pilot! I'm fickle, who cares. This means the possibilities are endless...right?

LATEST More purposeful things done:
Reading the dictionary and 101 other boring stuff. Cooking and cleaning. Ok, at this moment, I quiver at the pathetic state I've turned to.

LATEST Favorite Happy thought to myself:
"You can do whatever you want. Dream. Look excessively stupid. Be a flop. But smile. =)"

(Sorry the diacritic marks are missing, can't seem to operate them on the keyboard...)
Bonjour. Je m'appelle Mabel. Je suis Singapourienne. J'habite a Singapour. Je parle anglais, chinois, francais.

Creative inspirations:

La Paris


Amelie






And of course, Luxemburgerli! (French Macaroons)


Au revoir! A la prochaine.

Now what?

Ditch the showmanship, I'm only here to have some good ol' fun. Indie is so overrated. Not surprising because where I am, there might be a hundred people but a million labels on you...

Yep. Whatever lor. Nevermind.

I'm here to complain...WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MY ROOM! OK, it looks really whimsy whimsy now. HA. I knew something like that would happen. I always tend to start out on something and get led astray by the fancy ideas my brain came out with along the way. OK, I shall post pictures up on lj next time , probably 2 weeks later. I could do with a nice retreat after that.

And I'm currently trying to make my brain forget it ever tasted chocolate. I had half a 500 gram gift size box of chocolate today. Just had to taste all the flavours in the seemingly harmless looking little bite-size sweets, you know. For now, I would say that the chocolates tasted worse than a sore throat.

Ok, previously I've talked about having everything around me in gold. Today, I came across possibly one of the weirdest websites I've seen...

www.gangstagold.com

Own your very own set of GOLD TEETH!

<--It's BLINGBLING YO!

Anyone in for a set of blingtastic, one of a kind goldies?

While I've heard of people who have had imaginary friends, siblings. I lived that episode of my childhood, with an imaginary wall. Heard right. The plastered rock hard surface beside where I sleep, how secure. I'm number 1 for creativity. Yep, gone through the moments of spending quality time, talks on the events of my day, hugs(?!), promises. I must be quite insane to actually blog this down and be ridiculed by the world.

It started by once upon a time...when I was really little ( don't anyone dare tell me I never was), me and didi used to sleep on 2 mattresses at the foot of mama and papa's bed. That was how I got to know Wall, right beside me. It was more of a one-sided affair, since Wall never speaks back to me. Or maybe sometimes I hear a deep murmur...I really believed with all my heart that someday when I grow up, Wall was going to walk out of his hiding plaster and meet me. Ok, that sounds like a really terrible horror flick. Erm, happy belated Halloween!

Anyway, whenever mama was upset with me, I'd go and talk to Wall. This was a real good attention grabber. Next time someone ignores you, talk to wall. ;)

Now for my REAL best friend: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SERENE SOON!!!!!!

I hate it whenever someone starts to make senseless assumptions and worthless judgments when they don't even know whatever is happening(or even if they do.) I hate it even more when they just MUST get this piece of crap out of their mouth, generated from they're numbskull's brain. Oh wait, do they even have one? Apparently, I don't know cause I admit I'm not very smart. Anything too complex baffles me. Sigh.

Let's use this scenario of a pau...

A person: "This pau is good, meaty with gravy of a thick consistency. I like it fatty and dribbling with lard oil."

Another person: "The skin is too hard....too hard."

Yet another person: " *Crunch* I LIKE!!!!!"

Yet Yet another person: "A pau is 400...no, 700...no, 800 calories in a bite! I don't like pau. I will never eat pau. NO PAU!" (This person probably share the same wavelengths as me.)

You see, everyone's different. I don't think we're made from a cookie-cutter. You can't shut them up. So shut your ears. And your mouth from torturing someone else.

And hey, by the way, if I'm really given a pau and my garbage-eating brother isn't around, I'll eat it. Because thinking of the poor children in Africa without food will haunt me until I eat it. I'm such a freak. =)

Today, my mother and a relative brought me to this place. It was very classy, being a listed local company that penetrated 5 other countries throughout Asia. To say, it was a BIG globalized organization with superb system and service. I know this as every person to walk through the door gets a blood pressure test, free flow of drinks(I had cappuccino.), and a personally attendant of a nutritionist. The system works like you get a consultation from the Nutritionist regarding your health, and then they will prescribe you health supplements with follow-up sessions. From weight lost, to pimple treatment, to recovery from kidney failure,to motivational seminars, etc. Kinda like a club, having to sign up for membership. Superly cool.

The room I was dragged into was probably bigger than my living room and kitchen added up altogether. And there was a living Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, my kin's friend. I'm so not kidding. This was the first time I ever heard someone told me in an animated fashion: "Oh, and I love to look at the mirror, I'll look and think 'I'm so pretty!' It makes me feel good." I almost toppled off the seat laughing. But I can see why she said that, because she really was gorgeous. I didn't quite believe her when she said she is 54 years old, a mother of 4 children and a grandmother.

We had a long time of sharing, on a personal basis. More self-obsession and ROFL. We had what I would call a Bimbotic's Intellectual Discussion. I've finally found someone who can relate with me, granny doctor and soon-to-be professor because she's currently taking her Phd at 54 years old.

Before she left, she handed me a name-card. First time in my life do I see a name card that can be flipped open with the person's very own face on it. And why, a namecard that doesn't even have any contact details! No phone number, email, whatsoever. The paper only holds the details of the company, 6 different locations all over Asia to be precise. It just reads "Chairman/ Founder" beside her picture. She gave me her personal number anyway. Out of the norm, since the normal way to reach to her is through her personal secretary.

Anyway, point is, I have just met one of the most inspiring people I know. I've witness this day, an idealist thesis that beauty, brains and greatness can all co-exist together, (AND without the limits of age and winkled skin). I couldn't be happier. =D

I guess even if no one says such things, you'd still be happy right, huh? Ha, loser.

When I'm blogging at 4am, it simply means that my biological clock is bonkers. But right now is cold outside, my favorite weather, rainy. And my favorite brother is beside me, on his new laptop just bought today. My mom bribed him to trade his room with mine with that gadget. So I'm left helplessly drooling all over the sleek digital labbie and coveting that IT COULD HAVE BEEN MINE! Alright, so I left him alone while he proceeded to download a million viruses along with music files, began his conquest of 8 hours non-stop of online gaming, and accidentally flipped the monitor downwards before it black out.

Anyway, it's late. The familiar grappling feeling starts scratching against something deep inside. I think I'll try to kill that for now. Anything too complex baffles me these days.

I feel like being outside but I SHALL WATCH HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE NOW! (For the 6th time, ahh, my favorite movie!)

Little India, Park Mall, Plaza Sing, Cathay, Nightrider bus.
Midnight movie "Stardust" was AWESOME!

Just want to say that I'm happy today. ;)
Happy! Happy! Happy! Happy! Such a nice word.

Whatever way you read my title, it's true. The latter "proverb" must be "Beer-belly is a fat, not a skinny." Ok, totally senseless and so not funny. Nothing is funny anymore when you look down and see a bulge and no more waist. I can't see my feet. No, not because of that. It's the belly!

Ok, nevermind.

I've got an announcement, I'm finally getting my own room! Hooray to freedom and away from my irritating Da Jie! It has been a sick 4 years battling over the remote and adjusting the temperature of the air-conditioner incessantly through every night. I like mine cool, around 24 - 25 degrees. But the only reason she turns on the air-conditioner is to shut the window from whatever it is outside. (Mosquitoes, bats on the tree outside, noise...) She has Sines since young you see. The disturbance from sneeze is one thing, her snore is really the other. Her bark is worse than her bite. Not literally.

A countdown of one month till the Ho family is getting a new address. I've just bought a gold spray yesterday and I'm addicting to spraying everything gold. Imagine a gold bed, gold wardrobe, gold sink...ALL GOLD! How cool is that?! I like to pretend I have the Midas touch. Hee. I think the first first thing I'll do is probably arm wrestle with Frynn. =x

I'll be getting a black spraycan too I think. Yep, GOTH! Inside, I'm still the die-hard classic goth chick in love with black. And a crazy DIY fanatic. But envisioning 101 styles and designs for my room is just quite maddening because I can't decide on one. Before thinking that hmmmm, maybe I should adopt the minimalist thinking and whitewash everything to I don't have to bandage my brain while thinking too hard? Nope, out of the question.

I'm sticking to classic + retro mod. An idea would be that maybe if I display the my collection of accessories, 4 trademark pieces, and the ratio of 1043:1 which I never touch, I would have a gallery! Add on the fact of a new discovery I found out that in my whole wardrobe, I've only worn 1/3 articles of clothings out. Meaning I leave a whole Mount Everest worth of tops, frocks, bottoms, etc to collect dust-mites, attract moths, decompose and age to valuable vintage. BAD IDEA. My "princess" bed now is already made out of a pile of tried-and-chucked-aside clothes, 20 mattress height high.

Do ask me for the url of my livejournal-shop! I just sold a vintage Etienne Aigner bag at $55! Accomplished. =D

OH OH! And I bought the most adorable things ever! MY LITTLE PONIES!



As you can see...they're bald. So this time now, I'm taking on this project of giving them uber cool hairstyles. Jennifer Aniston, Victoria Posh, Jimmy Neutron, Tracy Turnblad, Paramore and Oprah Winfrey!!!!!! ;D

I know I stink.
TOODLES!